A Grim Baby Read online

  “To what? You talked with her. You know she has no family left there, no close friends.”

  “It’s the choice, Grim. The choice to remain, not because you have to, but because you want to. I made that choice and chose you with no regrets. But will they feel the same way once they realize it wasn’t given to them?”

  “We won’t know until it happens, my Lisa, but I refuse to believe the Goddess would allow such a thing. I believe she will make sure the right male is found for each female. If not, she’ll be allowed to return to Earth.” Grim couldn’t stand the doubt on her face and pulled her into his arms. “After all, she made sure I found you.”

  Rising up on her toes, she gave him a gentle kiss, then murmured, “For which I’ll be forever grateful.”

  ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

  Grim escorted Lisa back inside Luanda, but before returning to the training field, gave her a deep kiss that left her entire body tingling. The knowing grin on his face told her he’d done it on purpose. Goddess, she loved it when Grim got playful. Well, two could play at this game. Reaching between them, she caressed his shaft and felt it immediately harden.

  “Lisa,” he growled. “I must return to the trainees.”

  Slipping out of his grasp, she gave him a saucy look over her shoulder. “I know. I just wanted to give you something to remember me by.”

  When he pretended to lunge for her, she laughed and ran down the corridor.

  ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

  Lisa was still chuckling when she entered medical, only to come to an abrupt halt when she heard singing.

  Beautiful singing.

  Following the sound, she found Rebecca in her office. With a wide awake Adora resting on her legs she sang to the attentive baby.

  “Adora, you are so sweet

  From the top of your head to the bottom of your tiny feet

  Your life is brand new, and all in front of you

  But never doubt whatever you choose that you will be loved no matter what you do

  Adora sweet Adora….”

  Rebecca abruptly stopped, turning to find Lisa standing there. Flushing, she ducked her head. “Sorry. I didn’t hear you come in.”

  “That was beautiful.”

  “I… thank you.”

  “I’ve never heard you sing before.”

  “I haven’t had much to sing about lately.” At Lisa’s stricken look, Rebecca cringed and then quickly apologized. “I’m sorry. So sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  “You should if it’s truth,” Lisa murmured, losing all the joy she’d felt entering medical. She might have found happiness in the Tornian Empire, but others hadn’t.

  “It’s not…, and it is, but none of it is your fault.”

  “And if it is?”

  “It isn’t. You were taken just like the rest of us, Lisa. That you found happiness doesn’t change that. Don’t let anyone make you believe otherwise. You saved us from Joining with warriors we didn’t choose. Now it’s up to us.” Kissing the little fingers reaching for her mouth, Rebecca rose and placed Adora in her mother’s arms.

  “Have you…?” Lisa cut herself off. “No, it’s none of my business.”

  “What?”

  “It’s just that… I noticed how interested you were in Callen.”

  Rebecca’s expression quickly closed down. “You’re wrong.”

  “I’m not. From the moment I woke after being taken, I saw it. He was softer, gentler when he talked to you. Like Grim is with me.” When Rebecca said nothing, Lisa continued. “You do know he never left your side after Risa attacked you. Right? He is the one that carried you to medical. He let no one but Hadar come near you. He cares a great deal about you. So why haven’t you made your interest known?”

  “Because there’s no future for us.” She began shuffling papers on her desk, hoping Lisa would take the hint. She should have known better. When it came to others’ well-being and happiness, Lisa was relentless.

  “Why? You said something like that when we were returning to Luda. What did you mean?”

  “I did?” Rebecca frowned, trying to remember. So much of that time was a blur. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “It does if it keeps you from finding happiness. Something happened to you on Earth. If you want to talk about it, I’m more than willing to listen.” Moving, Lisa took a seat, prepared to do just that.

  Knowing Lisa would just wait her out, Rebecca sat wondering how to explain without revealing too much. “It’s something I can’t change and wouldn’t even if I could.”

  “Must have to do with a male. Man.”

  “Yes, a well-renowned surgeon, Dr. Michael Langdon. I met him during my third year of residency. Obviously, he was a great deal older than me.” At Lisa’s confused look, she frowned. “Didn’t I tell you that I entered med school at fifteen?”

  “What? No. At fifteen? I knew you were brilliant, but….”

  Rebecca waved it off. “Yes, well, I was something of a prodigy.”

  “I’d say so. So, you met Dr. Langdon and?”

  “And, of course, I fell madly in love with him. He was tall, athletic, and gorgeous. And the first man to look at me like a woman.”

  “I find that hard to believe.” Lisa’s gaze traveled over the thick, blonde hair framing Rebecca’s heart-shaped face. Paired with her blue eyes and sculpted cheekbones, she was seriously stunning.

  “Believe it. I was fifteen when I entered med school. Everyone else was at least twenty-one. I wasn’t even old enough to drink when I started my residency. I met Michael on my twenty-first birthday.”

  “Wow.”

  “Yeah. One of the nurses had brought a balloon and made cupcakes for me. Michael was walking down the ward and saw it. He offered to take me out for dinner to celebrate.”

  “And you said yes.”

  “In a heartbeat. I should have known he didn’t really want me.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “In some ways, Michael was like a Tornian male. In others, he was way worse.”

  “Michael was ready to settle down and have a family, but he had a plan. His wife had to be as highly intelligent as he was, so their children would be. She had to look good on his arm but not outshine him. And here’s the kicker, she had to stay at home so she’d be available to him at a moment’s notice. Apparently, he thought I fit the bill.”

  “But you were training to be a doctor!”

  “Exactly!” Rebecca waved her hand, emphasizing the point. “So when I told him there was no way I was giving up my career for him, things got nasty.”

  “He got physical with you?”

  “Of course not. That might damage his hands,” Rebecca immediately denied. “No. His attacks were always verbal. He started rumors. Said disgusting things about our sex life to colleagues when he knew I was nearby.”

  “What did you do?” She couldn’t believe Rebecca wouldn’t do something.

  “I filed a complaint.”

  “Good for you.”

  “It didn’t help.”

  “What do you mean? The hospital didn’t back you up?”

  “Against a world-renowned surgeon? Fuck no. Even though they knew exactly what he was doing. Instead, they made it clear I wouldn’t be allowed to do my fellowship there even though I’d already been offered a position.”

  “Assholes,” Lisa muttered.

  “Agreed. But, I was immediately accepted into another fellowship. So it was for the best. Apparently, word of what Michael had done had gotten around. He wasn’t well-liked, except in his own mind.”

  “What a narcissist.”

  “Was and still is. He found someone else to be his trophy wife. A nurse, just out of school. Last I heard, she’d given him three ‘perfect’ children.”

  Lisa just shook her head. “I’m sorry, Rebecca.”

  “I’m not. I dodged a bullet with him.”

  “Agreed, which explains why you might be gun-shy. But you know Callen isn’t like that.”

 
“Isn’t he?” Rebecca held up a hand to silence Lisa. “Look, I know he’s an honorable, fit, worthy male. He might care about me, but it’s only because he wants offspring,” her voice dropped to a whisper, “and I can’t give them to him.”

  Lisa couldn’t have been more shocked if Rebecca had told her she could grow two heads. “I…”

  Rebecca tried to smile but found she couldn’t. “Kind of defeats the purpose of having a relationship with Callen.”

  “Not if you love each other,” Lisa told her. “There’s more to a relationship than offspring.”

  “Not for Tornians. Callen has to have offspring to maintain his position, especially now that he’s a lord. I can’t give them to him, so someone else will.”

  “Have you talked to Hadar about it?” Lisa asked quietly. “Surely there’s something the deep repair unit can do.”

  “There’s not.”

  “There has to be. That thing is curing all types of Earth conditions…” she trailed off and frowned at Rebecca. “You said that doctor wanted you to have his children.”

  “He did.” Rebecca saw all the unspoken questions crossing Lisa’s face, but to Lisa’s credit, she never asked them.

  It was time for Rebecca to decide whether to reveal everything to her friend. Or remain silent. Her gaze went to Adora, and the words came pouring out.

  “I was able to have children on Earth. It was only after Risa’s attack that I couldn’t. Her blade was made of Tornian steel.”

  Lisa paled as she realized what Rebecca was saying. “It leaves scars.”

  “Yes.” Sighing heavily, Rebecca walked back to her chair and sat down. “It penetrated my uterus. The resulting scar means I’ll never be able to have children.”

  Tears filled Lisa’s eyes. What did you say to a woman who had dedicated her life to helping others have offspring only to be unable to herself? Nothing. She could only offer her support.

  “I’m sorry you felt you couldn’t confide in me, but I also understand why you didn’t. It must be extremely hard dealing with all us pregnant women.”

  “It is, but it’s also what gives me purpose. I originally specialized in this field because I wanted to help women during this important time in their lives. Now, I get to do it on a larger scale than I ever imagined and can make a real impact.”

  “You already have,” Lisa told her.

  “Well, I plan on doing more. Now.” She pointed at Adora, who was beginning to fuss in her mother’s arms. “ I believe someone needs her diaper changed.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Grim frowned at how quiet his Lisa seemed during last meal. She was attentive to him and the girls, but she didn’t add her typical cheery commentary. What had happened between when he’d last seen her and now?

  “Mommy, has Padma brought our training covers yet?” Carly asked.

  Lisa realized with everything else going on, she’d forgotten to tell them. “Yes, baby. Padma delivered them this afternoon.”

  “Really, Mommy?” Carly began to bounce in her seat. “Really?”

  “Really.”

  “So does that mean we can start training tomorrow, Manno?” Her excited gaze shifted to Grim.

  “Not in the morning. I have duties I must see to, but after your naps, yes,” Grim told her.

  “Did you hear that, Miki?” she asked her sister, positively vibrating with excitement. “Tomorrow, we can start training to be warriors.”

  “And Dagan?” Miki asked.

  Grim noticed she was more excited about seeing her friend than the training. “I don’t know. Lisa?”

  “Padma said Gossamer gave his permission.” She raised an eyebrow at Grim. “Apparently, after speaking to you.”

  “Really, Mommy?” Now Miki’s excitement matched Carly’s. “Oh, this is going to be so much fun.”

  Lisa and Grim couldn’t help but smile. “I’m glad you’re excited, Miki. Now finish eating. You both need to cleanse before bed.”

  “Yes, Mommy,” they chorused.

  The rest of the night passed quickly, with the girls laughing and giggling as they bathed before pulling on their jammies and climbing into their beds to await Grim’s newest story about the Great Raptor. Lisa had to miss the story as Adora had woken and demanded her own last meal. She had just finished when Grim returned to their resting chamber.

  “Look.” Lisa positioned Adora, so she faced Grim. “Your manno’s here.”

  Cooing, Adora waved her little arms and seemed to reach out for him. Taking her from her mother, Grim cuddled her close and sat down next to Lisa.

  “Hello, my little one. How have you been today?” When Adora cooed some more, he nodded his head as if understanding her perfectly. “My goodness, you did all that? No wonder you were so hungry. Can you tell me why your mommy was so distracted at last meal?”

  “I was not,” Lisa immediately denied, then sighed. “Okay, maybe I was a little.”

  “Why? Is it because of Sabra’s choice?” he asked, shifting so he could put an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in close.

  “Partly. There seems to be so much happening, and I’m trying to keep up.” Cuddling in, she rested her head on his shoulder.

  “You don’t have to take on everything, my Lisa. That’s what we have warriors for.”

  “I know, but I am the queen, Grim. There are things only I can do.”

  “Not if they upset you,” he argued.

  “They don’t.”

  “Something has.”

  Lisa looked to Luda’s moons shining outside. She couldn’t tell Grim what Rebecca had revealed. It wasn’t her place. But Padma… Word would get out about that soon enough, and she was sure Padma wouldn’t mind her telling Grim.

  Grim’s eyes traveled over her features in the light of Luda’s moons. Goddess, she was beautiful. He couldn’t imagine what his life would be like if she weren’t in it. That was an untruth. He could imagine, and it was a cold, dark, lonely place.

  “Padma has conceived.”

  “What?” That had his attention returning to her.

  “I’ve known since before I presented Adora.” Lisa paused, unsure how much to reveal. But if anyone would understand, it would be Grim. “Padma wasn’t sure if she could go through with the presentation.”

  Grim instantly understood and knew she’d been right to tell him. “She didn’t tell Gossamer until after you spoke with him about training Dagan. I’m not sure what you said to him, but whatever it was, it eased her mind.”

  “I told Gossamer that Wray would be declaring all females were now protected by Tornian law.”

  “Something you didn’t tell me.”

  “I didn’t?” His brows drew together at that.

  “You didn’t. I heard about it from Padma today when she came to speak with Rebecca.”

  “She made her decision.”

  “Yes. She and Gossamer chose to continue the pregnancy, no matter what the test showed.”

  “Test?”

  “There’s a test on Earth a healer can run that will indicate whether a baby will have Down’s Syndrome or not. The condition Dagan has.”

  Grim’s gaze went to Adora, who now slept trustingly in his massive arms. Goddess, he’d never given that possibility a thought. After all, unfit offspring were only presented by non-Tornians, and his Lisa wasn’t Tornian.

  Grim couldn’t believe he’d just thought that. Had he learned nothing? It wasn’t Padma’s fault Dagan had presented in such a way. He’d told Gossamer Dagan was a fit and worthy male and that was truth.

  Was Dagan different?

  Yes.

  But that’s what made him special. He was a true gift from the Goddess who made her presence known through him with every suncatcher Dagan made.

  Lisa saw every emotion as it crossed Grim’s face. Love. Shock. Acceptance tinged with a bit of fear that every parent experienced when they finally realized everything that could happen to their child before they even presented. Things a parent couldn’t protec
t them from.

  “Grim?”

  “We have been so blessed,” he murmured, his voice so gravely that she could barely make out the words.

  “We have,” she agreed, “as are Padma and Gossamer.”

  Grim’s eyes bored into hers. “Rebecca ran the test?”

  “Yes, and this offspring does not have Down’s Syndrome. Is, in fact, perfectly healthy.”

  “Thank the Goddess.”

  “Yes, and the Goddess has blessed them with a female.”

  “Truth?” Grim didn’t try to stop the smile from breaking across his face.

  “Truth. They are both very excited about it. However, I think Gossamer nearly passed out. It amazes me how the thought of having a female terrifies you big strong Tornians.”

  “It is because we suddenly realize we have a new female to protect and care for. It is… terrifying.”

  “I can imagine. It’s probably how I will feel when I present you with a male and realize that he will no longer live in our House when he’s twelve.” Just the thought had her tearing up.

  “This bothers you?” Grim had never once considered that. He’d never once thought his mother might have missed him. By the time he was twelve, he rarely saw her. As for his father, he’d seemed proud to watch him leave.

  Would Grim feel the same way if his Lisa ever presented him with a male? He wasn’t so sure.

  “It is the Tornian way, my Lisa. But I vow to you now, if that day ever occurs, we will decide together what is best for him, not tradition.”

  Lisa couldn’t believe what Grim had just said. But with his vow, she knew he’d never break it. He was indeed an extraordinary male. Leaning over, she gave him a grateful kiss. “Thank you, Grim, that means everything to me.”

  “I will congratulate Gossamer the next time I see him and offer him every support I can. Including guards to patrol around his home, so he knows his family is secure.”

  “Do you think he will accept help? Gossamer is a proud male. As proud as any Tornian male I’ve seen.”

  “That may be, but our pride means nothing when it comes to protecting our females.”